Madame Toussant Gets Some Exorcise

“Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in morning, sailor's warning”

I should have seen the yellow skies and heeded their warning. Instead I ignored the ominous clouds and plowed ahead. Literally. I worked in the yard day in day out getting ready for an upcoming event, churning up dust and spores and pollen. Breathing it is as if smelling the most fragrant flower.
Before I knew it I was being chased. I tried in vain to out run and out fox my pursuant. But too many late nights coupled with too many consecutive days of burning the candle at both ends had left me weak. My adversary was a sneaky bastard. He crept in at night while I slept soundly and delivered the coup de grâce. It started with a a tightness in my chest as if someone was sitting on me. Then a tickle followed by a wheeze. In absolutely no time I was done for. I was possessed by a demon. A cough. Not just any cough, THE COUGH.

Jimmy Leg and the kids can tell you horror stories of my cough. It rears it's ugly head once every few years taking hold of my lungs and squeezing the life out off them for weeks. My body convulses while the barking that emanates from me mimics one of the Hounds of Hell. I become Linda Blair when I cough. Head spinning, backward stair climbing, body raised off the bed, Linda Blair. It isn't pretty.


After days of possession, my demons are finally being exorcised. With Jimmy Leg's constant prodding to go the doctor I did the next best thing. I called Hair. His advice "Take 2 Mucinex and call me in the morning". Aah, sometimes my beloved Hair has the bedside manner of a table lamp, but you get what you pay for and his services are gratis. I did balk and cringe when I saw the size of the "Hoarse Pills" he wanted me to take. I could barely swallow, how would I get those down? I told myself they were diet pills and my throat nary gave a flinch.

Last night I slept. It was sporadic and fitful, but it was sleep nonetheless. My fits of spasmodic coughing came in fewer intervals. This cough who used to be a fat lazy slacker that sat in an arm chair reading a newspaper was suddenly becoming "productive".


Despite the recent "productivity" I am left physically spent and sounding like I have a 3 pack a day habit. Nights of complete sleeplessness have taken their toll. It's time to make a restorative trip to the beach. Perhaps the clean ocean breezes coupled with waves lapping at my feet are just what the doctor ordered. Now that is a pill I can swallow.

_________________________

Here is a prescription for fun

April 27

The Georgia Music Hall of Fame concludes their Live at 5 concert series
with Matthew Kaminski and Special Guest Vocalist Gwen Hughes. 5-8PM
$10 admission. Free to members.

April 30-May 1

Jazz guitar legend Joe Negri performs with Howard Paul and Savannah favorite Ben Tucker at the Jazz Corner.

May 1

Exorcise your FAT. Head to Tattnall Square Park for a Community Workout 9am. Followed by the Macon Cycling Classic at 10am. Finally end your day with the Bragg Jam Moonlight Miles 5K Race.

May 1

The Kentucky Derby Theme Party at the Cox Capitol Theatre.
Tickets $10-$20

April 30 – May 2

Macon Gardens, Mansions and Moonlight. Purchase a combination Tour Ticket that includes Secret Garden Tour, Historic Homes Tour and Moonlight Tour for $40 in advance. Secret Garden Tour: $15 in advance, Historic Homes Tour: $15 in advance, Moonlight Homes Tour: $15. For more information contact the Hay House.




May 14

Bryan Adams performs at the Grand Opera House 8PM